The Plan didn't go as Planned

Upon the death of Mr. Piss, the paper that the scrolls had been transcribed onto were held by his family in Three Cocks. The Directorship of the board and control of the Society was transferred to Mr. Piss' best friend, Mr. Waters. It's a little-known fact but they had a very successful band back in the day called Pissing Waters, Google it!

Directorship of the Society stayed with the Waters clan and in 2018 a Waters clan member, and 176th Director of the Society, moved to Halifax Nova Scotia Canada. He ended up in Halifax after being dared to during a wild night of drinking mead and eating Laverbread. He refuses to discuss this event, so it's assumed he is full of regret.

After many negotiations, the Piss family agreed to send the transcribed papers to Mr. Waters in Halifax so the Society would publish them online and allow the BILLIONS of WFUCAC followers learn the history of their beloved and time honoured traditions, if they had the time or survived the season.

The agreement called for the scrolls to be packaged into reusable bags and hand delivered by Nick Cage acting like it was National Treasure 3 to an Air Canada flight leaving Heathrow Airport for Toronto. The bags would then be individually thrown onto the plane's baggage hold by the Queen with the help of her personal Knight Keira. Upon arrival at Toronto, the bags would be unloaded by the leaders of all federal parties as a show of Canadian support and solidarity and placed at the door of the closest Canada Post office, marked with the Society's address in Halifax. The government even made a Twitter announcement that they would financially cover the cost given the significant cultural impact of the transcribed papers. The bags would then be delivered to the Society, and everything would be great allowing the society to publish the history at the beginning of WFUCAC.

This plan failed, in horrendous fashion.

The plan was almost derailed when Nick Cage overacted his part and almost missed the window for delivery when he stopped to marry someone along the way. While the Queen swears she and her Knight Keira placed all the bags on the flight, Air Canada seems to have lost half of them. At the time of writing this article 9 days later, we are still on hold with the lost baggage department.

While all party leaders showed up to show their party's support at Pearson, they couldn't stop bickering about the best way to unload them and who should do what. All they needed to do was deliver them to the Post Office front door and leave a cheque, pretty damn simple right. All they did was bicker about hybrid models of doing the work, if the work should be contracted out, who had the Covid vaccine and it culminated when a traveling clown on the flight saw a local firefighter and started fighting him on the tarmac right beside the leaders. (There is a deep seeded blood feud between clowns and firefighters in Toronto). The bags eventually ended up at the door of a Canada Post office but the Government refuses to release documents pertaining to how they got there citing Cabinet Confidence and ducks the question during Question Period. Canada Post however claims that the labels were misidentified and the remaining bags are now lost in the mail system and could be as far away as Alert. Finally, the Government has yet to make good on its financial commitment to cover the costs making Canada Post even more mad at us.

This is why we need the help of our loyal followers and fellow WFUCAC'ers. We all know the history and lore surrounding the origins of our noble traditions, we need you to write them out for each glorious day. Send them to the Director of the Society and we will publish them on our site as they come in and get approved. You can also address them to Jesse Harley, Vice Director (1st Regal Order) and ASMR club leader and he will ensure they get onto here as well.